Thursday, August 28, 2008
Sung to the tune of "If You're Happy and You Know It", an original composition
If you really wanna get big
Lift heavy
If you really wanna get big
Lift heavy
If you really wanna get big
And you're not on any steroids
Then you really gotta eat big
'N lift heavy
But if you really are on juice
And you know you are synthetic
You can stick to baby weights now
Just suck it up!
- Anand Daniel
I was at XXXXXX gym (near my place, I wont name it to avoid legal tussels) the other day, I only go there when I have a day off from work (and going there on legs day is pointless cuz they ain't got no free squat rack)
But anyway, there I was, assaulting my delts and traps, when I spied the dreaded PERSONAL TRAINERS. There were 2 of them, A and B.
A was taller than me, with decent sized muscles, still smaller than mine, I'll proudly say. And B was shorter than me and skinny, and he walked with a friggin' slouch! Only God knows why anyone whould hire him! Anyhow, A was training another guy, let's call him client A, who looked about my age or a year older (from the way they moved I assumed that Client A was there for mass building). B was training client B, who was probably in her early 40s (at least she looked that) and like all the rest like her - wanted to lose fat.
What transpired in the gym as I began my workout both shocked and disgusted me. But before I delve into what went on, let's fast-forward to the end, just before I leave. A & B had finished messing around with their clients before I was done, so I walked up to them and asked them if they were personal trainers.
They said 'of course'. They also went to say "of course" to the following questions: Do you take up more cleints? Do you do mass building training? Do you give nutritional consultation ect?
Now when they so confidently answered these questions, I couldnt help but feel that these people were being cheated! And the best part, they charge SGD $120 for 4 sessions! $30 for an hour of cheating! I can only imagine why people were forking out that sum.
Here's why I feel this way:
We begin with Client A. You know he wants to get big, at least he's got all the right accesories! He's got the black tee shirt on, he's got a sleek trackpants on (I don't understand how they associate that with bodybuilding, but they do) and *drumrollpls* he's got some new-fangled Gloves, with 'breathing fins' nonetheless. And in the 30 mins that I saw his 'Trainer' take him through the paces, I DID NOT SEE A SINGLE COMPUND MOVEMENT. I mean, seriously, that day, I saw the mother ship of bicep curls. He had him warm up with barbell bicep curls. And then, they moved to the cables. A hooked up the low pulley cable and got him doing standing bicep curls. The damn trainer didn't seem to mind that his negative movement (when you're straightening out your arm) was really quick, Client A was letting gravity snap his arm back out again. And after 10 reps, he started cheating! He was leaning back and using the momentum each time to get the weight up. And all this while, damn trainer A was encouraging him! He even brought a little step for him to stand on, and do the bicep cable curls! Following which, they went over to the dumbell rack. He got client A to pick up 2 light dumbless, bend over ( and his trunk was curved) and do lightning quick bicep hammer curls (at least they looked like hammer curls to me from where I was standing ). He was swinging the DBs up really quickly, and trainer A joined in with a pair of DBs as well! I was incredulous. I wanted to interject, but hey! He isn't paying ME is he?
You know, what, I'm gonna stop here. Because talking about Client B makes me feel sad for her, and Trainer B should be charged for fraud. Rather convincing scam they run there. trainers, anyone?
|
HELP LITTLE CHARMAINE. 