my grand mother passed away and i still cant come to terms with it or more accurately i cannot believe that she is gone. that is why someytimes i am just so numb. i cried or wailed more like it on two separate occasions, buti can only cry when there is noone near me, although my parents and cousins and girlfriend ca,e over to try and calm me down. the interesting thing is that it hits me at the most random times, even considering that i do think about my grandmother all the time, it hit me today on the train while waitin i started tearing. than on the train i started tearing. then i went to get roses for my grandmother to put in the sea together with the ashes. so yea. i learnt that one of the hardest things to do in life is preventing yourself from crying. at the ashes burial on the boat i almost cried. after i put the ashes the roses and the letter i wrote to my grandma in the water i stood outside the boat and cried a little, but quietly this time. it hurts and i really really miss her.
i think about you all the time
even though you're not here you're on my mind
and i really cannot believe you're gone
i never really thought you'd leave
but even after all this
i assume that you were ready to go
but you didn't wait to see if i was ready
i am not ready and still want you here
maybe the truth is i still need you here
would you believe the tears i've cried
or would you wipe the tears i dried
the tear stains are easiest to remove
but the hardest to forget the loss
the wounds remind of the past
but the tears remind of the gem i had
and till today i am very glad
why'd you go
i miss you so
you have alot of things still to do
that you were supposed to do
or am i just being very selfish
even though you lived a life of giving
but you still have alot of things to do
so why'd you go?
you're supposed to place a gold chain on my neck for my 21st birthday
you're supposed to meet my girlfriend
you're supposed to sit at the VIP table at my wedding
you're supposed to shave the head of my first son
you're supposed to bathe him and sing him to sleep
just like you did for the rest of us
you even promised to go on a holiday with me
you even said you'd fly with me
you promised to cook another meal for me
and you're supposed to feed me
with your very own hands
you left before doing these things for me
why'd you go
i miss you so
i cry
oh yes i cry
i never thought you'd die
i never thought it would come near you
i cant believe it when i see you
there's so much more i have to say to you
but i would love to hear from you
for now there're not much words to you
but i'll write more to you
good bye grandma
i love you
and i cant believe you are gone
i miss you
love,
your grandson
Anand A Daniel
P.S. friends, please learn to be there and not do what you think is in your best interest. do things because it comes from the heart and do things not because you want to prove a point or show anything. and be true to yourslef. and me in my time of sadness.
HELP LITTLE CHARMAINE. 